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Sexual Etiquette: the basics.

Keeping Your Sanity is a series of 30 essays divided into five categories— relationships, compulsive behaviors, social issues, problems in living, and taking charge of one’s life. While each person has his own unique set of experiences, the general areas with which people struggle are similar. The issues that confront us have an impact on how we feel about ourselves and how we cope with life. These essays were designed to help us explore ourselves as we deal with the trials and tribulations of our modern and complicated life.

I am constantly hearing the lament: "Where have all the good men (women) gone?" The way people talk you would think that mates were an extinct species. In this book I will be discussing the issue of mate selection in human beings and ways in which you can increase the odds of finding a "compatible mate." You do not have to be alone; and there is more than one partner for you if you are willing to change your attitudes and put in a little effort. You must give up certain myths, time-honored beliefs, and begin to take charge of your romantic life. Romance is no different from any other aspect of your life. It requires that you take the responsibility for making it happen. Your perfect partner is not going to materialize out of thin air and appear in your living room. You must develop a plan of action and then act upon it. Many folks are very sincere about their desires to be involved with another person, but are not committed to making it happen. Sincerity is an attitude, while commitment is an action. Sincerity without action does not make anything happen. Let's take a critical look at some common myths about romance. Myth I. Luck is the essence of romance. Luck has very little to do with romance other than to maintain the illusion that we are helpless pawns in the game of love. Most folks engage in their search for a partner and then hope for the best. These people have no expectation of winning. Many people approach romance in the same way that they approach a gambling table in Las Vegas. They put their dollar on the crap table, roll the dice, and pray. Professional gamblers, however, do everything in their power to increase the odds in their favor. In addition, professional lovers do everything in their power to increase their possibilities of meeting the person of their dreams. People tend to pray, wish, hope, and dream about finding their ideal mate, but they seldom develop a strategy or plan of action. They spend more time and energy planning a dinner party than the most important human relationship of their lives. Myth 2: Marriages are made in heaven. This myth is similar to the first one in that it assumes that relationships are preordained, out of the hands of ordinary mortals. It assumes that we do not have any control over the mates we end up with and that we must settle for those relationships in which we which we find ourselves involved. Human beings make choices. Many of them are poor choices. Myth 3: There is only one partner that is perfect for each of us. If this were the case, then it would not be possible for people to have happiness in a marriage after the death of a spouse. Clearly, since people do indeed find happiness in second and even third marriages, there is more than one potential mate available for each of us. Our job is to increase the probabilities of finding those potential partners. In order to find these potential mates we must develop a strategy. Just as there is more than one house that we can fall in love with, there is more than one potential mate. If we increase the pool of available partners, we can then fall in love with any one of them. The trick is to set up our criteria, take appropriate actions, and then allow for nature to take its course. Romance and love at first sight are integral to our fantasies about mate selection. We love to hear stories about how people fall in love. We love the notion of two people gazing across a crowded room, eyes meeting, and love is in bloom. More often than not, these people are in lust, not love. However, this is not to say that this cannot happen. However, it is unlikely. More often love grows between two people who have a common connection. It is the common connections that bind us, love then blooms in the soil of mutual interest, mutual respect, and friendship. What my strategy will do is increase the odds of this happening.

Too often people define themselves by their titles, money, and possessions. No matter how much they have, it is never enough. And when they lose them, they feel even more empty. This is living life from the outside in. This book turns the paradigm upside down suggesting that true happiness can be found by living life from the inside out. The book is based on both empirical research and my years of first-hand experience working with individuals, couples, and groups in both my psychological and life coaching practice. It includes case studies, vignettes, and personal experiences with real people with whom the reader can identify. The book is written for people of all ages, men and women, straight or gay. There is something in it for everyone. Anyone who has experienced a personal tragedy, loss of a job, divorce; anyone seeking greater fulfillment and happiness will profit from this read. Written in a down to earth style it will appeal to both the casual reader and the individual on a quest for self-understanding. It has something for the professional as well as layman interested in human behavior and growth.

A critical read for anyone interested in learning how to receive or perform anal sex.

A basic how-to-guide written by one of the leaders in the community.

A great kids book about sex? Children's books are great ways to begin a conversation about sex.

A really fun kids book - especially if you are too embarrassed to have "the talk." Just leave this book out and you can be sure that they will read it from cover-to-cover.

A woman's guide to female masturbation.

Sexuality guide for high school students and college students