As a couple choosing celibacy, it does not mean that there is
something wrong with your relationship. As with any decision being made
in your relationship, it is imperative that this is a choice you are
both equally invested in. If you find that celibacy becomes a fall back
choice because of something you are not talking about together, then I
would suggest speaking with someone in a professional capacity. However,
celibacy within a couple can be healthy and decided upon for a number
of reasons. Some common reasons for choosing celibacy within a couple
dynamic could include:
- To spice up your sex life. Celibacy forced couples to become more
sexually imaginative. If you are having trouble then try prolonged
foreplay. It can just as sensual as the act of lovemaking itself to
simply tease and play with your partner. Some of these playful acts
include leaving nude pictures in your partner’s lunchbox or taking time
with hugs and kisses.
- Learning what else exists between you as a couple. Celibacy forces a
couple to look at other aspects of the relationship. We are often
seeking emotional closeness but don’t know how to get there. During this
time, you have an opportunity to look at that. Instead of rushing home
to have sex, a couple spends their energy on talking about their life
dreams, their passions, etc. This is an opportunity to take a break and
reinvent your sexual relationship with each other. Sometimes couples get
into a routine that they no longer find enjoyable. When this happens,
sometimes anxiety rises and a myriad of activities are tried that in
that moment are not working. Couples have found it beneficial to take a
sexual hiatus and discuss what it was that was lacking and what is being
sought after.
When making this decision and exploring this lifestyle within the
couple dynamic, it is important to remember that this is a private
decision. Couples often grapple with the frequency in which they believe
they are supposed to be having sex. It is futile to go on the scale of
others, which is one of the ways celibacy becomes helpful. As a celibate
couple, you get to find your own rhythm and create your own path. Some
ways to accomplish this occur by enhance your sense of togetherness by
spending quality time together and exploring new ways of being sensual
not sexual:
- Take a course in couples massage through your local Massage
Association. These organizations frequently feature places or masseuses
that offer these courses specifically for couples. A class such as this
will provide you with an opportunity to use your hands on one another in
a sensual, intimate and giving way.
- Take a dance class like the tango or the samba together. This
provides you with an opportunity to hold your partner closely to you and
without breaking the rule of celibacy. You can both connect to the
music as well as to each other.
- Masturbate in front of your partner. Though you have made the
decision to not have sex with your partner doesn’t mean you can’t still
enjoy yourselves in front of each other. Just remember, no matter how
good it gets…don’t reach out and touch.
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