As a couple choosing celibacy, it does not mean that there is something wrong with your relationship. As with any decision being made in your relationship, it is imperative that this is a choice you are both equally invested in. If you find that celibacy becomes a fall back choice because of something you are not talking about together, then I would suggest speaking with someone in a professional capacity. However, celibacy within a couple can be healthy and decided upon for a number of reasons. Some common reasons for choosing celibacy within a couple dynamic could include:

• To spice up your sex life. Celibacy forced couples to become more sexually imaginative. If you are having trouble then try prolonged foreplay. It can just as sensual as the act of lovemaking itself to simply tease and play with your partner. Some of these playful acts include leaving nude pictures in your partner’s lunchbox or taking time with hugs and kisses.
• Learning what else exists between you as a couple. Celibacy forces a couple to look at other aspects of the relationship. We are often seeking emotional closeness but don’t know how to get there. During this time, you have an opportunity to look at that. Instead of rushing home to have sex, a couple spends their energy on talking about their life dreams, their passions, etc. This is an opportunity to take a break and reinvent your sexual relationship with each other. Sometimes couples get into a routine that they no longer find enjoyable. When this happens, sometimes anxiety rises and a myriad of activities are tried that in that moment are not working. Couples have found it beneficial to take a sexual hiatus and discuss what it was that was lacking and what is being sought after.

When making this decision and exploring this lifestyle within the couple dynamic, it is important to remember that this is a private decision. Couples often grapple with the frequency in which they believe they are supposed to be having sex. It is futile to go on the scale of others, which is one of the ways celibacy becomes helpful. As a celibate couple, you get to find your own rhythm and create your own path. Some ways to accomplish this occur by enhance your sense of togetherness by spending quality time together and exploring new ways of being sensual not sexual:

• Take a course in couples massage through your local Massage Association. These organizations frequently feature places or masseuses that offer these courses specifically for couples. A class such as this will provide you with an opportunity to use your hands on one another in a sensual, intimate and giving way.
• Take a dance class like the tango or the samba together. This provides you with an opportunity to hold your partner closely to you and without breaking the rule of celibacy. You can both connect to the music as well as to each other.
• Masturbate in front of your partner. Though you have made the decision to not have sex with your partner doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy yourselves in front of each other. Just remember, no matter how good it gets…don’t reach out and touch.

written by The Center for Growth - Sex Therapy in Philadelphia

• More tips written by The
• Contact/schedule an appointment
• Recommend The to a friend or loved one