Are you looking to be more creative sexually? Are you bored in bed? Do you want to try something new tonight? Well then look no farther! This tip is designed for the typical couple that wants to experience something new sexually.  It is designed to be fun and lighthearted but also help increase sexual arousal.

Cold Shower Myth Debunked: You may have heard the old adage that you should take a cold shower to reduce or get rid of physical and sexual arousal. However, research has shown that cold water can actually be used to increase sexual arousal because jolts of cold on your skin will double all the sensations you are feeling.  Think about a scenario where you would splash cold water in your face to wake up.  As soon as you feel the splash, you have a rush of adrenaline, your nerves stand on end, and you feel more alive and alert.  Now imagine the same scenario but during a sexual encounter with your partner.  Using different temperatures, especially cold, forces your body to not anticipate the next sensation; therefore every sensation will be enhanced because you are adding the element of surprise. The reason this works is when we get cold, our blood vessels constrict and blood flow is slower.  When we get hot our vessels open and more blood flows.  In order to become sexually aroused, we need blood flow to our genitals.  Switching between hot and cold will cause the blood flow to slow down when the cold sensations hit your erogenous zones.  This will cause you to plateau at whatever sensation you’re currently feeling.  Needless to say, if you continue to amp up blood flow/arousal and then slow it down, you and your partner are going to last a lot longer. Starting with warm temperatures and then unexpectedly adding something cold will increase the element of surprise, thus enhancing your sensations and increasing your arousal.

Cold Shower As Foreplay:  Taking a shower together can be a great foreplay exercise.  That’s because it will allow you to get physically close and experience sensuality in multiple ways.  A normal or hot shower before sex can help with arousal by getting you focused and ready for sex.  Your mind will be able to start thinking about the erogenous places on your bodies.  Thinking about your bodies sexually and anticipating pleasure that is to come will increase arousal because your mind is being stimulated as well as your body.  In the close quarters of a shower, you will become literally closer to your partner and may even choose to start kissing or other kinds of foreplay.  For people who get anxious about cleanliness and hygiene when it comes to sex, a shower together is a great way to help ease some of those worries since you can incorporate cleaning each other into your foreplay.

Now take all those benefits of a warm shower together and multiply them by 1000 just by turning off the hot water and turning on the cold.  When the cold water hits your body, you will become more physically aroused to any sensations, especially those that are sexual.  Lowering your body temperature starts a chain reaction of your nerve cells firing so quickly that it feels almost electrifying. When your partner touches you, you will feel these sparks along with the intended sensations for double the pleasure.  The cold sensations of the shower will also immediately send a response in your body to crave warmth and therefore cause you to move closer together.  Being physically close has been shown to increase emotional intimacy as well, which can also boost arousal.  Lastly, taking a cold shower together before sex will energize you both so that your hot and steamy love-making session to come will definitely last longer. 

How To Use It: Start by telling your partner you want to take a shower together.  You can begin with a hot shower and then randomly changing it to cold water for an added surprise.  Or you can plan to take a cold shower all along and not tell your partner.  The jolt from the cold water will be extra arousing because of the element of surprise. You can also make a game out of this exercise by switching back and forth from hot to cold water every few minutes. Just be careful not to go from too hot to too cold. You don’t want to burn your partner with water that’s too hot nor do you want to completely scare them with the cold. Slight changes are all you need. 

Fun Game #2:  You will need a few “props” to do this.  Before you begin, get a bowl of ice cubes, a cup of lukewarm water, and a cup of hot water such as a hot drink like coffee, tea, or hot chocolate.  Start kissing like your normally would, then take a second to sip from your hot cup and begin kissing again.  Did anything change? Wait a few seconds to notice the different sensations. Now take a sip from the lukewarm water to get back to “normal,” and kiss for a few more minutes.  Then, without telling your partner, take an ice cube in your mouth and go back to kissing.  You can keep the ice cube in your mouth while kissing or you can just lick it to get your mouth cold.  Again, with the change in temperatures notice the different sensations.  Were your more aroused with hot or cold?  What about your partner? Did the element of surprise make a difference too?  To keep the fun going, you can use this technique of switching from hot to cold while kissing or massaging all over each other’s bodies.  If using the changing temperatures during a massage try to use warm body oil or lotion.  Rub the warmed oil on your partner to get things started then grab an ice cube in your other hand.  Trace the path of your warm hand with your cold hand. Try to focus on erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, breasts, nipples, earlobes, the crease where the hips meet the thighs, and the genitals.  Keep moving and switching the temperatures randomly to keep the element of surprise and increase arousal that much more.  Then switch and have your partner pleasure you doing the same thing! 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by using props or having to do so much switching that’s ok. You can change the exercise up any way you want.  Try focusing on only one temperature at a time.  Use a heated blanket during sex to experiment with warm temperatures.  Or open all the windows and put on a fan to try something cooler. Whatever makes you feel turned on is great. Remember the important piece of this exercise is getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new. As a couple you have just moved into a deeper level of sexual intimacy because you shared a new experience together. Congratulations on exploring your adventurous side!

written by Amber Lynn Connell, MA

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