If you have a sexual addiction, this tip is not for you. Porn
can make your sexual addiction worse. Encouraging your partner to use
porn with you is destructive.
What is Pornography? Pornography is perceived to be
material that is explicit and sexual in nature. This can occur in print
(books and magazines), video, Internet or via phone. Within a couple
dynamic, many different experiences with pornography can occur. Some
couples enjoy viewing pornography together, some individuals watch it
alone (with or without the consent of their partner) and others don’t
watch it at all.
If your partner enjoys porn:
find out what type of porn she/he enjoys and surprise her / him
with it
go to a porn shop together and pick out some porn together
create your own porn, dress up (or maybe dress down) and pose for
your partner
try replicating the sexual moves with your partner in real time as
you watch the couple on the video screen
try telephone sex with your lover
after watching a film together, assume one of the characters
personalities and put the moves on your lover
Remember to always share with your lover what viewing porn with them
means to you. Specifically, try to answer how viewing porn with them
enhances your experiences. How does porn encourage sexual intimacy
between you and your partner? If you find yourself thinking that sex is
better, because you are more turned on by the people in the pictures,
then you are from your lover, something is wrong. To handle this issue
– is a whole different tip.
If your partner is resistant to enjoying porn with you,
the first step would be to find out what they are specifically
objecting to? Do they not enjoy looking at sexually explicit images or
watching other people have sex? Do they find it demeaning or
over-stimulating? Do they find the activities or the behaviors
uncomfortable to view? Does it make them question their own abilities or
do they feel hurt/concerned that you find stimulation outside of the
relationship. A discussion might help you and your partner figure out
the origin of the resistance and where the compromise can occur. If your
partner has never viewed pornographic videos or books, then an activity
that you may find helpful is to construct fantasies together. This is
an activity that can help the two of you determine what turns the both
of you. You can connect your fantasies to the erotic images you find
appealing in porn. This could help to assure your partner that a
comparison is not occurring but more importantly a search for ways to
enhance your sexual experiences together is occurring. This could be a
way to ease your partner into viewing porn with you while gaining some
insight as to what to expect. If your partner is embarrassed with the
concept of enjoying porn with you, maybe it would be easier to read or
watch it alone. This would provide your partner with an opportunity to
experience it without concern of your reactions or theirs. Realistically
it may take more than one experience, or possibly exposure to multiple
types of porn to find their comfort and appreciation of what you enjoy.
Another possible reality is they may never find the appreciation in
pornography that you and if this is the case then it will prompt you to
have another conversation with your partner to determine what
possibilities of compromise exist for you.
Healthy use of porn with a lover will help you:
Learn more about your desire and the desire of your partner
Develop knew sexual ideas for yourself and your lover
To get turned on and engage in intimate sexual experiences Bookmark/Search this post with:
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